aku mulai menyukainya

Hari ini adalah hari yang sama untuk pelajaran yang sama tapi hari ini aku menemukan sesuatu yang baru. Hari ini dia lebih memperhatikan aku. Dia menghampiri aku dan berbicara padaku. Dia membuat aku lebih yakin akan apa yang sudah kuketahui dan yang harus aku ketahui lagi. Ternyata dia sangat baik.

Setelah waktunya pulang, satu persatu kami mulai meninggalkan kelas, dan dia melambaikan tangannya padaku. Aku tau ada yang berubah dari dirinya atau apakah itu hanya perasaanku saja?
Tapi dia memang melambaikan tangannya padaku. Jadi aku tau itu adalah pertanda baik. Akupun lambaikan tanganku dan tersentum manis padanya.

Aku tau, aku mulai menyukainya. Semoga aku semakin menyukainya sehingga minggu-minggu depan, pada hari yang sama, waktu yang sama, aku menjadi lebih semangat untuk belajar.

Semoga!

Breaking Dawn

I finished reading 'Breaking Down', the 754 pages of Stephenie Meyer bestselling novel of Twilight yesterday morning. I couldn't believe I just did it since the first time I saw the very thick book I felt a great refusal inside me. It took me quite sometime to get back to it for I hardly like thick book. Yet, once I understood the chain of the stories, I couldn't help myself for a desire to keep reading and reading it. Luckily I could manage to sleep at night, I used to keep awake to finish reading a novel when it was just my taste. It took me three days, however, to completely finish the reading since I must also do some other stuff apart from reading it.

The novel was amazingly interesting, to stand at a point of self satisfaction and not to relate it to any logics or beliefs. It's amusing since Stephenie really gave what readers exactly wanted, some swift thoughts that sometimes startled readers but finally gave even more than what readers expected at the first place. A really nicely arranged thought for a happy ending story. Looking back to the characters in the story, I found they're quite related to modern society in the current era. Some sort of thought came to my mind while reading the novel for I also calculated what might appear just afterwards. A bundle of astonishment came up, smile turned up, and my eyes widely opened for my great interest in the way the characters piled up relationships among different families' backgrounds.

Finally, I could fee that peace was above all. Only holy tender hearts could raise the peace in the middle of the terrified horror of war and doom. I loved the characters of peace lovers and praised them for their strong commitment in defending their pure loveable intention in any circumstances. That's really a great point I found, at the moment, that amuzed me since I firtsly devoted my time for reading the four series of Stephenie's novel; twilight, new moon, eclipse, and breaking down. What an achievement. Well done!

Just a day!

Once I was wandering in the busy noisy town nearest to my resicendency looking for nothing and aftering for none. My feet led me the way through to passing some elderly people who were amazingly appeared so strong in their eighties or nineties. Tidily dressed, they walked and chatted along with their mates seemingly so overwhelming in their hissy conversation to my ears. I smiled and so happy for them that they were enjoying their oldhood. Very rarely could I see this simialr view in my country of origin.

I passed the view hesitantly towards the corner of the town where the local public library situated. I observed the small park in front of the library and noticed some kids playing joyfully under their parents' obvious protection. I recalled a memory when I was a kid and found none like what I saw. A little disappointed but it's useless to do.

Carefully I returned my loaned books and thoughtfully I chose some novels of my interest from the shelves to spend with in my long coming days. That'd be great to spend sometime in the library but couldn't resist my longing to walk more the town, a bit of exploration taste. Hurriedly I brought myself out of the room and hinted to the north. That was a new road for me that day. I should walk farther that day so that I felt at least exploring something.

So glad that my day was a lot different from the day before. I met some nice smiling faces and sweet mumbling baby faces. After all, that was just a day!

Dainang

Da nunga lobi opat bulan au borhat manadinghon huta ni dainang, huta hatubuan jala huta ingananhu magodang. Ai tung masihol situtu do rohangku sai ingkon mulak tu huta maraehon hatubuan ni Jesus jala taon naumbaru 2010. Alai marboa bahenon ma, ai apala ingkon songonon ma haroa i taon on. Sai gomos pe au martangiang ale inang na burju asa horas jala sehat situtu hamu di huta suang songoni da amang dohot sude angka ibotokku, angkangku nang anggikku.

Molo taringot tu pangalaho, ai molo au da na anak na burju benna molo huingot najolo ai apala na jugul si tutu do au jala maol disuru karejo dijabu. Sai holan na modom do au molo nunga songon na adong karejo na lao siulaon. Alai di nahajugulonhi huboto do dang hurang saotikpe holong ni da inang tu au. Dang hea apala huboto na au pe holong hian do marinang molo so marsahit da inang piga-piga taon na salpu. Ai disima huboto ai aha pe ingkon baenonku asalma sonang da inanghi. Sahali, di na marsahit da inang, tangkas dope huingot, sada pangidoan ni dainang asa unang be arop rohangku ingkon marsikkola tu luat na dao. Hupapos do raha ni dainang jala marjanji do au dang lao be au manang arop be rohangku ingkon marsikkola tu nadao. Molo huingot hatangki saonari, ai olo do mengkel au alani saonari au nunga be di luat na dao.

O alogo ombushon majo sihol ni rohakkon tu dainang, amang, dohot sude keluarga di huta. Sai tung paboa ma ai na masihol si tutu do rohangku alai marboa bahenon ma ai ingkon marsingkola majo au saonari jala dao sian nasida. Sai adong do tingkina ingkon pajumpang muse jala dibagasan las ni roha. Sai Tuhani ma tongtong na mangaramoti sude hita manang di dia pe.

Borders Security Australia

Australia has a worth praising borders security system. This becomes one of the TV broadcast I find interesting recently. I like it because it is actual and updated. I really couldn't imagine that's happening once or several times I was at the Australian' airports in Sydney and Melbourne. It really went very bad when someone found guilty of carrying something harmful to this country.

I have several times watched on TV some cases in which people tried to smuggle reptiles and drugs and they went to huge trouble. Some came with fake passports and after some processes were sent back to their countries of origin. Even once, there were a couple from India who happily brought cooked dishes from their country but were eventually fined because some dishes they brought were prohibited to enter this country. Maybe that's why I avoid bringing any sort of food or any of its groups that needed to be reported and claimed.

Once two Vietnamese ladies were caught carrying cocaine in their brand new shoes and fined for a lot of money and they finally had to stay behind bars for some years. There was also a man, forget from which country, smuggling a lot of cocaine in his nicely wrapped unique paintings. So many cases revealed in this border security program that need to be known by common people so that they'd aware anytime they travel into any country.

New Moon...not bad!

Many of my friends were frantically looking forward to the twilight saga:New Moon. They already picked up their own hero or heroine. Women idolized Edward and I couldn't say if men did too but Bella did a huge great job in it. Finally, it started arriving in Cinemas since 20 November 2009. The news reported that it's slightly beaten The 2012. Well, that's a fabulous achievement.

When I watched the New Moon in Hoyts, I was expecting more than what I saw in the movie. Well, there were too many cuts and if I had not read the book before I could have hardly understand it. Comparing my understanding between watching New Moon and reading it, I undoubtedly grant the latter was best. Well, I must admit that it was because the book was a complete edition clearly describing all emotions, backgrounds, scenes and characters.

It's quite amazing that when almost everyone admire Robert Pattinson, I adored the tender calm wise look of Peter Facinelli. What a man! Yet, Taylor Lautner's muscular body was gorgeous, I like it. He really had the body! It's quite a pity that the actress for Victoria was replaced by a new face. Well, in accordance to my friends' opinion, Alice has a gorgeous worth praised beauty.

So, what is exactly the new moon refered to? Could be the new moon for Jacob whose time has come to be one of his warewolves' fellows or the new moon for Edward and Bella for their long parting times for a reunion that promising an unseparable union.

After all, New Moon is not bad. It's a movie full stop.

Super Aneh

Hari ini adalah hari super aneh karena aku melihat banyak hal aneh terutamanya manusia-manusia yang berperilaku dan berpakain aneh.

Harus aku akui aku bangun telat pagi ini, itupun dengan alasan yang super memihak diri sendiri yakni karena dinginnya musim semi ini. Hari ini suhu udara terendah dalam beberapa minggu di bulan September ini. Suhu tertinggi hanya 13 dan terndah 7. Di pagi hari sewaktu aku bangun, aku cek lagi suhu udara ternyata masih 10 derajat. Aku tidak ingin beranjak dari tempat tidurku yang nyaman tetapi aku harus bangkit karena perutku sudah mulai keroncongan.

Setelah negosiasi ini dan itu, aku bersama teman-temanku berangkat menuju Melbourne Central. Kami inigin melepas suntuk sambil mengerjakan sesuatu yang berguna. Hari ini tujuan utama adalah menuju konjen RI yang ada di kota untuk mengurus hal yang penting pula. Namun Melbourne Central menjadi tempat untuk melepas suntuk dan cuci mata at least kami boleh window shopping.

Duduk bersandar ke bangku di depan toko sambil menikmati snack yang kami bawa, kami dapat melihat orang yang lalu lalang dan yang keluar masuk toko. Ada yang hanya melihat-lihat dan pergi dan ada yang memang ingin membeli sesuatu, tapi kebanyakan hanya seperti kami, untuk window shopping. Kalau kami karena terbatasnya uang di saku, kalau mereka, aku tidak berani menjudge.

Namun, aku menemukan orang aneh hari ini. Ada beberapa pasang orang yang berpakain aneh, berias aneh, berjalan aneh, dan bertingkah aneh. Ada seorang pria yang memakai jubah panjang hitam dengan rambut yang diikat dengan kain yang panjang sampai menyentuh lantai dengan riasan wajah yang menyeramkan berjalan begitu tegap dengan memegang tangan kekasihnya. dari cara aku melihatnya, dan sedikit tergesa-gesa. Mereka tidak tertarik melihat toko-toko yang berjejer di sepanjang jalan tetapi fokus dalam jalan yang mereka tempuh. Sungguh aneh. Hal ini mengingatkan aku akan pengikut ajaran tertentu yang tidak mengakui Tuhan. Hem, mungkin mereka sedang dalam perjalanan menuju sebuah pertemuan penting dalam ajaran mereka.

Tak lama sesudahnya aku melihat sepasang lagi yang berpakain sangat aneh. Mereka memakai kostum seperti kurcaci karena bajunya yang memiliki topi seperti kurcaci.Kostum mereka tampak sangat jelek dan usang dan bermotif kotak-kotak, merah, abu-abu, hijau, dan biru. Kalau pasangan ini masih berminat masuk toko walau keluar tampa membeli apapun. Yang paling aneh dari pasangan ini bukanlah dandananya yang aneh dan riasan wajahnya yang ngejreng tapi kakinya yang tidak beralas sendal atau sepatu. Mereka tidak memakai alas kaki sama sekali. Hem, hal ini mengingatkan aku bahwa ada orang yang aku dengar dari suku yang sama denganku tidak pernah memakai alas kaki kemanapun dia pergi, namun itu karena dia memiliki ilmu aneh yang membuat dia berpantang memakai alas kaki kemanapun. Apakah pasangan ini juga seperti itu, memiliki ilmu aneh? Namun melihat kostumnya aku berpikir lagi bahwa mereka ini adalah bagian dari sejenis ajaran yang juga tidak mengakui Tuhan.

Hari ini memang sungguh aneh karena aku melihat beberapa orang yang super aneh. Aku harap aku tidak menemukan orang-orang aneh lagi di lain waktu. Cukuplah aku menemukan manusia yang sederhana dalam kewarasan yang normal dan masuk akal.

Luka Dingin

Judul yang mungkin membingungkan karena merupakan terjemahan langsung dari cold sore. Sengaja aku menulis tentang hal ini karena aku kira hal ini sangat perlu untuk diketahui dan diwaspadai terutama bagi orang asia yang berniat tinggal di negara yang memiliki musim dingin.

Jika tinggal di musim dingin selalulah waspada jenis orang yang bagaimanakah anda. Ketahui anda alergi pada apa. Aku bukan tipe orang yang ada alerginya, namun setelah dalam 2 kali kesempatan tinggal di Melbourne di musim dingin, aku dapati diriku tidak tahan dengan dingin. Mungkin aku alergi dingin, sehingga dalam masa 2 bulan muncullah di bibirku, lower lip, sebuah luka, disebut luka dingin. Bentuknya pada awalnya seperti jerawat dan berwarna seperti jerawat, namun karena aku tidak menganggapnya serius, aku tidak begitu memperhatikannya, aku tetap berikan lip blouse. Amat disayangkan karena luka yang pertama membawa luka yang lain sehingga aku memperhatikan sudah ada 3 luka berbentuk jerawat di bibirku. Bangun pagi keesokan harinya aku amati luka itu sepertinya mengandung air. Hal ini membuat aku mulai takut, aku search internet dan tulis 'cold sore,' dan hasilnya sangat mengejutkan. Luka dingin ini sangat berbahaya jika dibiarkan, dan gambar-gambar yang ditampilkan sangat menjijikkan dan menakutkan.

Sebenarnya aku sudah berusaha menjaga kesehatan tubuhku dengan memberikan lip blouse di bibirku dan pelembab kulit disekujur tubuhku setelah mandi, dan terutama telapak tangan karena itulah bagian yang amat rentan dengan kekeringan dan luka akibat dingin.

Segera aku pergi ke apotik terdekat, walau pada awalnya aku berencana pergi ke dokter. Aku minta rekomendasi dari pharmacist yang aku temui dengan menunjukkan bibirku. Dia menyarankan aku menggunakan amcal cold sore dan mengoleskannya 5-6 kali sehari. Aku melakukannya sesuai petunjuk,namun hatiku masih tidak tenang karena sepertinya dalam 3 hari tidak ada kemajuan sama sekali. Namun, aku tetap mengoleskannya dengan harapan akan terjadi penyembuhan. Aku tidak bisa menyembunyikannya karena aku harus pergi ke kampus. Di kampus teman-temanku memperhatikan dan ada yang mengatakan hal itu biasa sehingga membuat aku terpelongok. Ada pula yang mengatakan aku tidak istirahat yang cukup dan terlalu capek. Mereka katakan pasti karena aku terlalu keras belajar sehingga aku mengalami luka dingin. Apa hubungannya capek dengan bibir luka dingin? otakku dan hatiku tak dapat menerimanya. Namun, tidak setelah dosenku melihat bibirku. Aku menjadi percaya bahwa mungkin ada faktor karena aku terlalu capek setelah dosenku mengatakan bahwa itu bisa terjadi karena aku tidak istirahat yang baik, terlalu capek, dan tidak menjaga makanan yang kukonsumsi. Dia menasehati aku agar tidur lebih awal setiap malam, menjaga makanan yang aku konsumsi, menjaga kesehatanku agar tidak teralu letih dan menyuruh aku minum madu dengan lemon. Well, lemon itu sendiri dia berikan padaku, entah darimana diambilnya, setelah usai kuliah.

Akhirnya aku mulai memperhatikan waktu tidurku, tidak tidur terlalu larut, makan tepat waktu, mulai olahraga jalan pagi, tidak terlalu memforsir diri untuk belajar, dan minum air lemon dengan madu setiap hari, ditambah dengan mengolesi amcal cold sore ke bibirku 5-6 kali sehari. Alhasil, aku bisa sembuh, di hari ketujuh, bibirku sudah pulih, walau masih merah, namun tidak sakit lagi, tidak gembung dan tidak berair. Aku sangat senang karena aku bisa sembuh dalam seminggu karena jika tidak itu artinya aku harus pergi ke dokter.

Jadi, jika anda tidak ingin mengalami nasib seperti aku, belajarlah dari pengalaman yang aku bagikan kali ini.

Mari hidup sehat dan bahagia.

Seuntai doa

Kakiku melangkah menapaki jalan yang melintas sebuah terowong jembatan menuju stasiun bus. Aku selalu malalui terowong kereta api untuk bisa mencapai jalan diseberang dimana aku biasa naik bus. Kali ini aku berangkat lebih awal 30 menit dari biasa karena hari ini aku ingin melakukan sesuatu.

Seperti biasa aku akan menunggu bus di halte sampai bus tiba, dan saat ini aku harus menunggu 10 menit karena bus yang sebelumnya baru saja melintas. Mungkin aku kurang beruntung hari ini, atau mungkin aku sudah mengaturnya sedemikian karena aku ingin melakukan sesuatu.

Sepanjang perjalanan aku sudah menggenggam rosario kecil terbuat dari kayu, hadiah yang aku terima beberapa bulan yang lalu, dan mulai mendaraskan doa-doanya sepanjang perjalanan di dalam hatiku. Dengan berjalan santai aku bisa melakukan doa itu dengan suasana hati yang tenang. Sesampai di stasiun bus aku memilih duduk di halte yang kosong sehingga aku bisa lebih nyaman dan tenang mendaraskan doa-doanya. Hem, aku merasa beruntung bus yang sebelumnya sudah lewat sehingga 10 menit duduk sendiri memberikan aku cukup waktu untuk menyelesaikan untaian doaku hari ini.

Setelah seluruh untaian doa rosarioku selesai, aku menoleh ke papan pengumuman tanda ketibaan bus, dan aku tersenyum karena disana tertulis 1 menit. Mungkin aku sedikit bangga karena aku memiliki daya pengaturan waktu yang baik hari ini.

Seuntai doa rosarioku hari ini adalah doa yang khusus aku persembahkan karena aku sedang memohon sesuatu kepada Tuhanku. Semoga Tuhan mendengarkan dan mengabulkan permohonan anakNya ini.

Hidup menjadi lebih hidup

Hidup bisa menjadi lebih hidup jika kita memiliki kemauan untuk membuat hidup itu menjadi lebih hidup. Mengapa kita ingin menjadikan hidup lebih hidup? dan hidup yang bagaimanakah hidup yang lebih hidup?

Hari ini aku bangun dari tidur tepatnya pukul 6 pagi, seperti biasa alarm handphoneku yang membangungkan aku setiap pukul 6. Namun, dengan alasan yang sangat membela diri, yakni karena pagi masih begitu dingin dan tidak ada pekerjaan yang mendesak yang perlu dikerjakan dan tidak ada kuliah di pagi hari, aku molor lagi. Aku tarik selimut menutupi tubuhku sampai ke leher karena aku tidak bisa tidur apabila aku tutup seluruh tubuhku sampai ke wajah dan kepala. Aku tidur lagi dan bisa sampai mimpi beberapa kali dengan setting yang berbeda pula. Akhirnya aku selalu benar-benar bangun dari tempat tidur pukul 8.30 pagi. Namun, ada kalanya aku bangun awal, yakni benar-benar bangun ketika alarmku membangunkanku pukul 6 pagi, apabila aku harus masuk kuliah pagi, ada tutorial, dan dikusi. Aku bangun awal karena aku harus memasak bekal untuk makan siangku. Aku selalu menghindari beli makanan di restoran bukan karena alasan makanan siap saji yang kurang bagus untuk kesehatan namun karena minimnya uang bulanan yang ada di tangan.

Hari ini aku pergi ke gereja yang jaraknya tidak sampai 5 menit jalan kaki. Aku bergegas dengan sukacita karena hari ini adalah hari Tuhan. Sesampai di gereja aku memiliki waktu untuk doa pribadi yang agak lama karena waktu misa diundur sampai 10 menit dari biasanya. Ternyata gereja ini kedatangan tamu istimewa, seorang uskup dan beliau didampingi oleh pastor John yang biasa memimpin misa di gereja ini. Banyak hal yang terlintas di benakku saat aku di gereja hari ini. Aku menyadari betapa aku tidak memiliki kehidupan yang benar-benar hidup. Aku memiliki begitu banyak beban pikiran ditambah kemalasan atau yang menghasilkan kemalasan sehingga aku merasa jauh tertinggal dibelakang orang-orang yang memiliki hidup yang benar-benar hidup.

Syukurlah aku meraskan hal ini sekarang sebelum semuanya menjadi terlambat. Namun, apakah aku akan memiliki komitmen yang teguh untuk berubah? aku tidak begitu yakin, karena seperti manusia pada umumnya, aku juga lemah dan terkadang tidak ingat akan komitmen yang telah aku buat. Aku ingin menjadikan hidupku lebih hidup karena aku ingin menikmati hidupku dalam sukacita dan dalam hidup yang sehat. Aku ingin memiliki hidup yang ceria dan tidak terbebani. Memiliki beban pikiran dan bentuk lain adalah hal yang wajar sebagai manusia, namun dalam pengalaman itu aku ingin dapat menikmatinya. Dengan demikian hidupku akan ceria dan ringan. Sepertinya kebahagiaan dan keceriaan hidup yang dulu aku miliki dijajah oleh sesuatu atau banyak hal yang aku tidak sadari. Aku ingin kembali memiliki hidup yang lebih hidup.

Apa yang dapat aku lakukan untuk memiliki hidup yang lebih hidup? Pertanyaan yang sedikit filosofis dan egois. Tapi apapun akan aku lakukan semampuku dan sesuai akal sehatku untuk menjadikan hidupku lebih hidup. Saat ini aku akan mulai melangkah untuk membuat hidupku lebih hidup. Mungkin langkah awal adalah mengubah kebiasaan bangun pagiku yang luar biasa salah. Karena sebenarnya aku masih dan selalu ingat pesan ibuku yang menyuruhku untuk selalu 'bangun pagi.' Bukan bangun kepagian atau bangun telat di pagi hari. Semoga aku bisa. (:

Diantara 'prejudice' dan keharusan

Setelah hampir tiga bulan mengikuti perkuliahan, aku semakin mencium sebuah demonstrasi penolakan besar-besaran terhadap penggunaan 'bahasa Inggris' di dunia. Hal ini semakin tampak ketika salah satu dosen yang mengajar dikelasku menyatakan beberapa pandangan pribadinya terhadap teori ataupun artikel yang menjadi pokok bahasan di kelas kami. Pandangan yang bernada menentang penggunaan bahasa Inggris di dunia dengan bahasa halusnya yang dikutip dari seorang pakar bahasa Robert Phillipson dengan tuduhan adanya 'linguistic imperialism.'

Linguistic imperialism adalah bentuk penjajahan terakhir yang terjadi dimuka bumi. Dengan keharusan penggunaan bahasa Inggris sebagai bahasa international terjadilah penjajahan tersembunyi. Hal ini berbau politik dan ekonomi. Para pakar yang bersuara senada mengkhawatirkan akan hilangnya beberapa atau banyak bahasa minoritas di dunia ini dengan masuknya bahasa Inggris dalam peradaban mereka. Lebih lanjut banyak kritikus yang mengolah data dan mengadakan penyelidikan sampai kepada dunia maya 'internet.'

Dalam penelitian yang mereka lakukan, terbuktilah bahwa ada begitu banyak penjajahan halus yang terjadi dengan menggunakan bahasa Inggris. Mulai dari pengharusan test bahasa Inggris berstandard interntional yang hanya difasilitasi oleh pemilik bahasa inggris itu sendiri, seperti TOEFL oleh America dan IELTS oleh Inggris, sampai kepada penggunaan bahasa inggris untuk mengkristenkan orang lain. Hal terakhir ini sebenarnya tidak dapat dijadikan tolak ukur, karena hanya dilakukan oleh beberapa golongan agama kristen tertentu, tidak benar apabila menyalahkan seluruh umat kristen atas usaha sepihak oleh pemeluk kristen tertentu. Internet juga semakin beralih menjadi alat untuk penjajahan yang menurut pakar akan mengharuskan seluruh dunia menggunakan bahasa inggris dalam penggunaanya.

Jika demikian halnya, mungkin aku akan mengutarakan sebuah pertanyaan. Apakah kita dapat bertahan hanya dengan menggunakan bahasa asli kita? yang tidak dikenal oleh dunia luar tempat kita berinteraksi dan memungkinkan terjadinya banyak mutual benefit?
Apakah aku bisa belajar sampai ke Australia dengan hanya menggunakan bahasa asliku? bahasa Indonesia? apakah Presidenku dapat menjalin hubungan bilateral dan lebih lagi jika hanya menggunakan bahasa Indonesia? Apakah para pakar di negaraku dapat menawarkan produknya baik berupa hasil penelitian, karya tangan, sampai pada hasil cipta ke dunia hanya dengan menggunakan bahasa Indonesia? Mungkin negaraku akan menjadi negara yang paling terbelakan dan tertutup dan tidak akan pernah bergerak ke arah kemajuan dan kemakmuran.

Mempelajari bahasa Inggris dan menggunakannya dalam konteks yang tepat adalah sebuah keharusan. Keharusan karena kita ingin maju, karena kita ingin mengerti dan dimengerti, karena kita ingin mengetahui banyak hal, dan karena kita ingin bertahan dan makmur, dan mungkin lebih tepatnya karena kita tidak ingin dijajah lagi.

Namun, mengapa bahasa Inggris? bukan bahasa Indonesia? adalah sebuah pertanyaan yang dapat dianggap konyol pada satu pihak dan dapat dianggap sebagai trigger bagi pihak lain. Penggunaan bahasa Inggris sebagai bahasa Internasional ada kaitannya dengan masa penjajahan, dimana bangsa Inggris merupakan penjajah terkuat yang memiliki wilayah jajahan terluas.

Mungkin saat ini aku dapat melihat sisi lain dari prejudice dan keharusan ini dimana bahasa Inggris dapat dijadikan sebagai alat dalam bahasa lain 'dimanfaatkan.' Hal ini berdasarkan apa yang aku lihat terjadi di negara ini dan negaraku karena kebetulan sampai saat ini aku masih menginjakkan kaki di dua negara. Lihatlah produk apa yang anda pakai saat ini, mulai dari alat tulis, pakaian, mainan, sampai makanan. Ada begitu banyak beredar 'made in china.' Nah, yang ingin aku sampaikan adalah begitu hebatnya Cina memanfaatkan bahasa Inggris untuk menjajah perekonomian dunia. Mereka menjadi nomor satu dimana-mana. Bukan maksudku menyangkal bahwa banyak juga produk 'made in Japan,' 'made in Germany,' dll namun tujuan utamaku adalah mengatakan bahwa produk Cina sudah ada dimana-mana dan menyentuh segala lapisan masyarakat dengan mudah karena mereka sangat lihai dalam permainan harga.

Jadi, mungkinkah kita beralih kepada topik bahwa 'Cina adalah penjajah masa kini?'

Language, identity and the internet

Language is a powerful vehicle to show one's identity. Through language, people see what he is and whom he belongs to. Internet is no longer exclusive to Americans but has been overwhelming worldwide. On the internet people expose themselves through language. At the beginning the common language on the internet is English. It seems that it is the most effective updated tool for civilization; to the spread of English shows its owner's powerful reach to the world.

However huge the strength of the powerful over dominates the weak, it won't stop the latter to struggle for freedom. People do not want to lose their language and so their distinctive identities. They see the threat of the raising use of English on the internet as to demolish their native languages. Therefore they struggle to put their language on the internet. They start building web pages using their languages, even managing to use their own language as language of instructions. This is not a tough thing to do by western countries but most ASIAN countries are still struggling to make it.

By using own native language, people start sharing their culture, habits, what their countries have and so many things worth to share. This can help them to promote their countries too. However, this free sharing information worldwide grows a big concern that people's distinctive cultures and so are no longer special because they're given freely. It is an assumption that something which is given freely is no longer valued worth and so losing their essential valuable special meanings.

Thank you Jill

Yesterday, I attended my class in the afternoon. Intentionally, I avoided meeting people in the morning because some parts of my lips I had to cover with white cold sore cream. It was just kind of embarassing.

I arrived early so that I could choose my chair where I could hide my face. What an undeniable thing that I just couldn't hide. My friends came and greeted me. They noticed the white cream on my lip and we began talking about it.

Some friends said they never got such cold sore but my Korean friend said she had it when she felt tired. So, she said that I was just too tired that it came up. I hardly believed it until my lecturer told me the same thing.

In a break session, I rushed to the toilet to look at my lip and clean it, and put some lip blouse because my lips were so dry. Out from the toilet, I met my lecturer and she talked to me. She asked me what I put on it and showed her the cream. She said it was good, and she told me that it was because I was too tired. She asked me what time I slept every night. She was quite shocked hearing that I went to bed late every night. She told me to get enough rest, good meal, and relax.

After the break, all students were in the classroom. I was chatting with my Iraqi friend who seemed so nice to me. We talked outside the classroom, in the corridor. I noticed him holding a paper and he told me that he was preparing for our next week exam. He showed me the paper and it was the test from the last semester. Between our talk, our lecturer, Jill came bringing four melons on her hand. She gave all the melons to me and told me to drink it with mixing some honey. She said it would help me recovering from the cold sore. She was really kind. Thank you Jill. I didn't have any idea where she got the melons, but she was really nice because she really cared for her students. Again, thank you Jill.

I hope I would get better soon and can have more time for myself for rest and relax.

Christians teaching in classroom

Many Educational observers claim that Christians are spreading thier belief to finally convert people to Christianity through teaching English. These missionaries are sent throughout the world, to the mission lands, to give free English classes. In the classroom they teach students their ideology. They firstly come to impress students in order to get these students' trust, and afterwards, converting them to their belief is just an easy part. In the classroom, they witness as it is what their bible tells them to do. To convert as many people as possible to be Christians.

Then comes a critic that Christians must not convert people they are taught through the bible to respect others. This is the starting point of contradictory between witnessing and respecting others.

Educational observers emphasizes that having a desire to convert people is totally not compatible to respect to others. As Christians English teachers, they should not put their religious values in the teaching process and content. Yet, educational observers are aware of the teaching purpose to 'change.' But this change should not be interpreted as to change to a belief, to Christianity. This is totally unacceptable.

Seeing from a teacher's point of view, I think teaching is really 'teaching for change.' Teaching for change means by giving knowledge to students, by helping them to understand what they've never known before or doubtful about. There comes a change from not knowing to knowing, from misunderstanding to well understanding, from less knowing to much knowing. Yet, the teachers who already own their belief are surely holding to that values in every actions of their teachings. However, these teachers should teach based on what the curriculum tells them. They should teach the content of the lessons not the content of their religions. So, any teachers, despite their religions, should keep in mind to teach the lessons not their belief.

I love you?

Attended a class overseas, we're taught that the sentence 'I love you' is not something special but just a general sentence to mean common care to everyone.

One of my Asian professors said that she was much troubled with her male westerns colleagues fond of saying 'I love you' to her. She told him several times not to say that to her because it meant special to her. Her friend tried to explain to her that he just liked saying that and it did not mean a thing. There was a clash between two cultures, westerners and Asians. One who sees that as a special thing and can only be mentioned in a special occasion by a very true intention of falling in love. On the other hand, the man only says that for a kind of care which means nothing at all referring to falling in love.

Every Asian students in my class nodding their head when my professor tells her experience above. But what is interesting here, I think, is that she has not been able to accept cultural difference. In order to feel comfortable in such situation, she should be able to negotiate with cultural difference. When she has come to that phase, I'm sure, she can feel comfortable when any westerners say 'I love you' to her. And feels it in more sense of 'real love'when her native friends say the words.

This is just one examples of hundreds of thousands or millions of cultural differences between western countries and Asia.

Cold Sore

Cold sore is really irritating. It happens to me again. It happened to me last year when I visited this country, Australia, in winter. This time I come again in winter and it's happening again after my two-month stay. What a disaster for me.

From what I read about cold sore it was caused by several conditions, but in my case it was because of the cold season. I now believe that I'm allergic to cold. Lucky that I went to pharmacist last year and this year I went to pharmacy again to buy cold sore cream.

What is interesting is that the sore is happening at the same place as my last sore on my lips. And though it is on my same lip but the shape of the blister is different from last time. Luckily I asked the pharmacist that they recommended me different cream. The one I was given last time was for leaking sore while this one is not. 'Good to ask after all.'

I'm proud of my body

My body is my beautiful body and I'm proud of my body. This should sound quite irritating to others who see it from a negative point of view. However, I'm stressing here that it's the body that my Lord has given me and I'm grateful for that.

So many people, hundreds, thousands, or maybe millions, out there who are not accepting their bodies. They are not satisfied with what they've been given. They do plastic surgeries and intensely try to be like 0thers. This is just making them lose their own identities of uniqueness. Every man is unique and therefore it is not to regret to have what we've got.

So how can I be proud of myself? I am proud of myself because it is what I get from how for all times I take care of it, from my childhood until I grow up. I have done my best to take care of my body and to make it healthy. So, if this is what my body is, this is what I am proud of. I will surely like every single parts of my body. I like my nose though it is not sharp like those western people, I like my skin though it is not fair, I like my black eyes, my curly hair, and all. Of course it s not to judge others' bodies are not worth admired.

So, I am proud of my body and will always be.

Hard days to come

I'm coming to another tough days that I need to study more and more. I'm heading to a class test that is really making me quite nervous because of its lots of materials to read and learn by heart. Another urgent preparation I need to work in is my mini lecture. I'm volunteering for a class mini lecture with a given topic. I have read the textx but seems don't get to the essential part yet. I thin I need to reread and reread as I ever heard someone saying how to read and understand is to read and reread and reread again until you understand. What a simple hard work to do.

Oh, I have another coming assignment that needs lots of attention which is my group work presentation. Actually this is quite unburdening me at the moment because this is a group work. There are five of us in the group. I hope with five heads we can result in good work and presentation.

I better keep moving because I need to understand my reading texts. It's hard for me to keep focus when reading, hope this time I can.

Athens burning

This is 'when the flames united' and ate up a big part of Athens. The flames were just so huge that there was a very unbreakable strong union among the flames.

Athens is burning, thousands of people rushed to a safer place, but the strong united flames kept chasing them. That's really a night mare for Athens. It started last Sunday and is still in red.

Athens was another country that faced the fire after the black saturday fire disaster in January to Australia; Melbourne.

This could happen in any country, so people need to be aware of this very mean killer. It's time to regenerate what old people told the young before. It was that don't play with the flame.

The fire in Melbourne last January and in Athens this July, could be a man's mistake, but when it's getting this huge, the most important thing to do is not to blame each other but to find the way to distinguish the fire.

Hope the fire can be stopped in a short time and may Athens unite to fight the fire.

Beware of dogs!

Before I listened to the night news yesterday, I wouldn't be so afraid of dogs. But the news was really shocking me. There was a cute little girl, between 1-2 years young, bitten by a dog. It's the dog of her neighbor which seemed to be her playing friends beforehand.

What a misery that the dog bit her face, half of her face to be precise. This afternoon the news reported the progress and the little girl was shown on screen holding by her mother. It was really terrible, one of her eyes was bandaged and her mouth was torn. There're many sewing on her face.

The bad news was the dog's owner said the dog had disappeared. What a terrible fate the little girl had to pas through.

I remembered that in my country, when someone was bitten by a dog, both the bitten person and the dog needed to be put under special care. If the dog died, then the person bitten could die too, and before dying the bitten person would howl like a dog. What a serious illness dog could spread.

So, though people around had so many wonderful and tamed like dogs, I'd never get closer to any of them. They're just all frightening to me since listening to the news. Moreover, from the history, there're thousands of dog bite cases had happened in this country every year and at least one bitten person died every year. What a miserable story.

So, better be aware of dogs every time I meet any of them.

Thank you Neere

I wanna thanks one of my good classmates who kindly drove me home this afternoon. She was a mother of three daughters. She always rushed to pick her baby from a child care center every after classes.

She was a good person and I'd like to thank her. It was windy and rainy this afternoon but being offered to sit in her car, I didn't feel the cold outside.

Thanks Neere

A frightening friendly man

I was at Coles yesterday that a man came towards me. I was standing, looking at the the chicken because I already ran out of meat. I compared the price and the expiry date. The man who seemed to be very friendly greeted me saying 'how're you?' I didn't know the man.

I simply said 'fine, thanks,' and looked back to the meat. I pretended not to look at him but I knew he was still there beside me looking at me. I was quite uncomfortable and looked at him. He said 'see you' to me and I just smiled. I wish I would not see him again. He passed and probably bought other stuff. He was not buying any meat at all. He just came to greet me.

After finishing my shopping, I stopped a while on a desk and made sure that I had put my purse on my bag. It was there and then I was ready to walk home. Suddenly the man came towards me again and greeted me. I was suspicious of what this man did, what was he? I pretended to be busy and taking my bags, ready to leave. He kept talking saying I shopped a lot. I smiled and said yes, he said something else and I just answered yes. Oh, I remembered the last one he asked me before he really left me. He said 'do you have family?' and I said 'yes.' I hope by saying that he would go away. It was great the man went away because I said yes. He finally said yeah, cooking for your family?

Thanks God that he went away after that, if not maybe I would be very much in trouble and still didn't prepare of what to do in that situation. How could I escape from that frightening friendly man.

'Language, Identity and Culture'...How are you related?

Reading two of Stuart Hall's article recently, I find it difficult to see the link of how language, identity and cultural difference are connected. Actually I get some already in my mind, but not so sure if it is how Hall relates them.

Well, I come to an example of hundreds I can find in my background reality. I take one which is so obvious what I represent for and will always do. It's 'batak toba,' one of the ethnics found in my region back to North Sumatera.

Well, I'm a very typical batak woman. I do speak, work, think, and feel like what batak really do. Batak people speak loudly, yet it's not necessarily I'm in a bad temper or anger. I work fast and do some hard work such as lifting and fixing stuff. It is what Batak always do, never be afraid of doing hard work but do that for good, not depending oneself to others, hard to find 'fed up' in his mind. Thinking and feeling are sometimes quite mixed for they've very thin difference. Your feeling will influence your your way of thinking. Batak is not good at hiding their feeling and usually it is clearly seen from the face. I'm quite that way.

I inherit my batak culture from my parents. Firstly I'm born with my surename then I am raised in the culture. I see many of the culture as I grow up. I see how batak dress, how they speak their dialect, how they dance at parties, how they quarrel, even how they swim in a lake. They're just some that I can recall now.

Since I'm well educated in batak environment in which the people speak the dialect, use and apply the ethnical norms in every angles of their life, I can recognize any one of them if I find one at other place.

I am able to do so because the batak already have their identity. What I see to recognize them is their identity. The identity is performed through their language and culture. I know they belong to batak because of the language they use and the culture they show in dressing, speaking, acting, etc. I know that because they're different from the rest I may find them with.

So, is that all? Is that an appropriate way to interpret the interrelation happens in language, idenity and culture?

I'm still thinking.

Holy Communion

Sunday will never I spend without going to your home my Lord
Seeking for comfort, peace, and love is what my life thirst for
I know that you're there waiting for me coming to your home

Oh Lord how I feel safe in all your guidance

Sunday is time for Holy Communion
God please forgive me for all I have done wrong
so that I am worthy to receive You

Right here in my heart I always want You be
Please remind me always that You are in me

Oh Lord how I miss You all times

Dear Lord thank you for giving me everything
Dear Lord thank you for making me worthy be your daughter
Dear Lord thank you for always be my Saviour

What a miracle that you've healed me today
I thought I would suffer some more days from this fever
But you really know that I must do so much work
I just need to be strong to pass through

Oh Lord how I am grateful for all this miracle

Thank you my dear Lord

I believe in You and your presence in the Holy Communion

I love you my Lord

Winter will you end soon?

I am so glad that I am here again just to begin a new start for a quite long journey to handle. This is all I want since I know what difference it can make to me and how I really want it my way. At least I can say I want it for all good things I can think of.

Yet, I must say I really have hard times dealing with this one season, the winter time. It's sometimes very freezing that I hide under my donas. I soon fall asleep, sound and warm. But it's a sign of a not good one 'cos I will leave all my work. It may take me hours to really aware of getting of the bed right then.

I keep counting days and weeks, and keep my eyes closely to the weather forecast just to make myself happy when there's at least a day warm in a week.

Oh, winter, will you end soon? I need to get out of this bed and start doing things right. Though I know it's your time still but I'm hoping there's miracle. If you can't leave in this time of my asking, would you at least not too cold every single day I need to get out?

My sweet Reyhan

I am so happy that I have my Reyhan just right beside me anytime I am at my bed. He is so loyal that I can't help hugging him. He is so cute.

He is here by my side at all times and will always be. He is so special and the only one.

Thanks my Reyhan for always be there when hard times come and try to strike me hard to the ground.

Love you much.

To have my own bible

One afternoon, to kill the time, again I sat on my couch and turned on my TV. Firstly, as usual, I kept pressing the button up to see what’s on every available channel that afternoon. There were lots of choices but I was bored already to watch any movies. I kept pressing until I stopped my finger for a wonderfully interesting scene. That was a view of a little girl.

The girl was silent but the narrator was telling stories of her. She had a very touching life. Her longing to have her own bible since her young age touched me right on my heart. How could a little girl loved to have something that she had no objections to do anything. She collected penny to penny until she thought enough to pay for her beloved bible. She worked that hard and persistently in order to have a bible only, a bible in Welsh. But when she was ready to seek for her bible, a storm stroked her dream down. She had to put aside her dream and let his father use her money for his medical treatment. What a long waiting for such a faithful little girl. Six years she collected the money by doing many house works in other people’s houses and all was for nothing because she couldn’t buy her bible.

Yet, she was a very obedient and faithful girl. She rose again, did the same hard work even harder and more than ever. Another six years passed and her wish finally came true. With her money she started walking miles and miles to the nearest town where she thought it could be. But what happened? The priest that she expected to have one to sell her was unable to help her get her dream. Every bible written in Welsh were out. She was crying and shaking and she was almost fainted for her longing to have her own Welsh bible would never come true. The priest, watching her sympathetically, rose from his chair and started walking around. He remembered that he got one Welsh bible in his drawer but it was very old and no longer in good shape. He kindly gave it to her and told her that it was the only one he could give. The girl was very happy and grabbed the bible to her heart. She was very happy. At that time she was the happiest person ever. She then set out to go back to her little village holding her bible tightly and her money on her other hand. The kind priest wanted none of her money but gave the bible for free.

That was really a touching story ever I saw in this New Year. I might never forget that marvelous story of a person longing to have a bible.

Then I asked myself whether I ever felt such thirst to have my bibles. By now I have more than three bibles in three languages. I think I need to give more time for myself to feel the thirst of reading God’s words.

Feeling

What kind of a feeling is this? Am I ill or something? Oh yes, I am at the moment really ill. I got some trouble with my digestion. I took a medicine before sleeping last night but to my surprise, I went even worse. I was quite happy that it didn’t affect my mood today. I could still smile and chat with people with some cheerful jokes. But to be honest I was in a terribly bad health.

People said one’s mind could make him ill. Sometimes I thought this was quite right. When I thought of many things I couldn’t really solve, I got ill in heart. My life was so dark and ruined. I badly wanted to escape but none of the door is unlocked. I fought until losing my last breathes but I was still stuck in the dark hole. I was in pain.

I listened to the silence but wind stroke me down. I cried out loud but none could hear me. I sighed and sighed but none could see me inside. I badly needed help but I could tell no one. This was a secret I had been keeping for quite a very long time. Since something bad I even couldn’t remember very well happened to me, something that made me someone different.

Today is my birthday. I’m starting my journey again this year with all grace and mercy from my Lord. Thankful I am for everything He’s given me. My happiness won’t be complete with all my beloved family and friends around. But unfortunately with my being in other town, I won’t be able to meet them right here right now. Thanks to the mobile phone that enables me to feel their presence through air that sends me their lovely voices. One by one my family and friends starting from 12 pm rang me and sent me short messages. I am so very overjoyed.

Yet, I was feeling lonely. One thing or two or maybe more I was expecting not yet came to real. Never did I stop begging until I lost faith several times but it’s so seemed very impossible to reach. Would that mean I was not keen enough in praying? Or was that mean I need super extra patience. I knelt down and closed my eyes. I gathered my two hands and started whispering, hoping His ears were very close to my face. I told Him again and again the same things I have been longing for years. If I could see my heart it must be crying that moment that sincerely and wholly my heart was longing for those wishes.

I hope this year; my dear Lord will have mercy on my more that He has given me. I hope He sends me all angels I need to stand on His will. Let Him do whatever He wishes to me and helps me in every weakness He might find in me.

I would like to thank all my dear colleagues at office whose sincere wishes and greetings had undoubtedly strengthened me. May everyone is blessed and the Lord listens to every prayer today.

Christmas Bells

Christmas bells are chasing to ring. They're ringing to wake everyone from bed, to rise and look at Him. He's there waiting to save each life in darkness. each life that wants to be reached by His hand for salvation.

Never will I have a Redeemer like Him whose heart never be annoyed by my ridiculous easy to change manner for self dissatisfaction, and whose hands never stop holding my striking hands for self ego.

Love is His name. Life is His promise. He is Jesus, my dear Lord.

Christmas bells, Christmas bells, keep ringing and never stop ringing. Keep ringing when I'm falling in pain and disappointment. I am worthy not for my uncountable sins but His Angels come and not once give up walking beside me.

Christmas bells, Christmas bells, I thank you for your perseverance. Let me have though a tiny of your courage that I'm walking close to His path.

Christmas bells oh Christmas bells, your calling is so sincere.